You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment gearing up for her first album release in nearly a decade, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and finally the parent to a young child after facing fertility challenges for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in March she was found to have cancer in her breast.
The musician, real name Jessica Cornish, is known for speaking her mind. The album, her latest release, was intended as an open book, addressing every moment of pain she’d endured since she last worked on songs (endometriosis, pregnancy loss, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The first single, No Secrets, was launched in April. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. The illness. Later next release, her song Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and she was giving interviews about how she was thriving, while at the same time coping with the disease. A month later she disclosed her condition, and in early July she received surgical treatment.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” expression. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m conducting every media appearance, and they inquire, ‘What’s happening?’ and I respond, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to call off performances because she’s awaiting follow-up surgery.
Our interview takes place at a studio in London. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with ornate white designs, cream boots and oversized specs. Think motorcycle style meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the picture. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She smiles. Jessie is fast-thinking, bold and direct. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is planning to attempt her first comedy performance next year. “I like entertaining. On stage I often tease the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
The artist was getting ready for an performance at the Baftas when she noticed an abnormality. “I promptly visited to get it examined, had an test, and they told me, ‘It looks like nothing; your tissue is healthy.’ And I was, like, ‘Yet I sense it. I have arm pain and pins and needles in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they suggested, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the following my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The specialist told her if it was concerning she’d contact on the Monday. By then she had assured herself it was okay. The way she explains it, it was inopportune to get cancer when she had many commitments.
“Just two weeks before from releasing the album after years away and four years without a single. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I assumed, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I jump on the Zoom expecting it’s all going to be fine, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your test results have come back as aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘Well, that’s not great. What awful timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She viewed the procedure frightening and surreal. “I fear going under. They lead you. You know when you have emergency surgery you are wheeled, but now I just walked with a medical attire and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been fortunate. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the surgery. “Cancer is awful, but you know what? I’m grateful it was caught soon. The surgery happened recently and my one side now appears as a odd shape.” A further beam. “The nipple was preserved.”
The next operation is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. The implant is larger than before. So inconsiderate! I reflected, why make it worse, I’m already having a hard period. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is no stranger to illness. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so optimistic because she’s familiar with physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, acting as a reminder, or shock, to remind her not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘You having a good time? Sit down.’ Since childhood, it has always gone alongside moments of success for me; a major or strange event has affected my well-being.”
She takes me back to her childhood, already beginning starring in the London theater in the production (she was chosen at the age of nine years old). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue WPW, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as dizziness and heart flutters. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She skips forward six years, and 17-year-old Jess has entered the female band the group while attending the academy. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was ready to debut in 2020 I had a automobile accident and my voice box shifted and I couldn’t sing for a long period.”
Wow, I say, wait, I am overwhelmed. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
